I saw In The Company of Men, a movie recommended by the Loveawake dating blog. The plot is about an alpha male who convinces his beta male coworker to help him emotionally destroy a woman. The reason is to “restore dignity” in their lives. The plan is for both of them to date her, take her out, buy her flowers, treat her nice, and then dump her at the same time.

What ends up happening is the beta falls in love with her while the girl falls in love with the alpha. The whole thing starts to unravel in a way that feels almost inevitable, because once emotion gets involved, the game stops being clean. At the end of the movie the girl, who is deaf, confronts the alpha about the game. He laughs in her face and says, “How does it feel?” He leaves her on the bed, crying, proud of his handiwork.

This movie has made me realize that I am a nice, stand-up guy. I don’t lie to women. I don’t manipulate them. I’m convinced I leave them better than how I found them, with short but intense memories of my bedroom. That’s the difference between being a man with standards and being a clown chasing validation. The women I deal with may not forget me quickly, but they remember the feeling.

If you ask a girl about guys who like to sleep around, her blood will boil and she will say they are all jerks with mommy issues. But then if you ask her about the last player she slept with, her tone will soften. It’s because the player, with his experience and style, made her feel good. You can’t stay in business for long if you are the type of guy who seeks destruction instead of pleasure. Most girls can pick up on the psychopaths that Hollywood loves to portray as smooth-talking pick-up arti